Initial Email Correspondence to & from Another Fabulous Former student

Subject: Re: you are a phenominal person!!!

To: S. Vega

Date: Saturday, September 6, 2008, 1:00 PM

Oh-h-h Sophia!!! This is my 1st time checking this site in days & what a pleasant surprise! Your letter is so very touching & moving! How could I ever forget S. Vega? I was truly thrilled to see you too at the NPS convocation at Pru. Hall on Thursday. It had to be divine intervention because you have honestly come to my mind every so often all these years,including recently. I always wonder how some of my favorite former students are and you were definitely one very high on that list. Whenever you re-enter my mind though I go back to procrastinating about trying to reach you and hoping you'll just pop up in my class one day like many other former students have.
How fabulous to know you're starting your 1st year of teaching now! With all the love you showed me as my student, I'm sure you'll shower your own students with that same precious gift. Some will go to their graves without showing appreciation and love to all the special people in their lives. Many students wait until years later to let some teachers know how they touched their lives but you were one of those who did it on a regular basis while in my class. It is students like you who truly make teaching worthwhile and give us that extra boost when the going gets rough as a teacher. Many students used to give me notes or cards which explained how I impacted them but you were one of the few who gave me gifts and often said or did such sweet things but left me wondering how I'd earned the honor of your admiration. Today, you have answered that question for me and I thank you so much for all of your beautiful words. Stay sweet, stay beautiful, and God bless. I will always love you and I hope we stay in touch!

Love, Miss Whitley

P.S. -- Which year did you graduate? -- It's funny you asked about Do Something. That's the last after school activity I coached & haven't done it since 2002 but just applied to coach it again this year! It's now known as "The League" and the Newark headquarters are still on James St. You can go to http://www.theleague.org/ also for more information.

On Thu, 9/4/08, S. Vega wrote:
Subject: you are a phenominal person!!!
To: sis joy
Date: Thursday, September 4, 2008, 1:37 PM

I was genuinely happy and excited to see you today! Sorry, I just couldn't wait to email you. With all of the students you have had---I was shocked you remembered my name and I am honored you did--thank you !! I know this may be corny and kind of cliche but I have to> > let it out... you were such a phenominal teacher to me--you gave me inspiration. you were so energetic and gave us so much information in a cool conversational kind of way. I learned a lot from your history classes--but I must be completely honest---what I remember most is how knowledgeable you were and the discussions we had and most of all if there was something that was not neccessarily in the text book--well you encouraged me to "read between the lines" and you know what?? I had NEVER even heard that expression before you! And now its a huge part of who I am and how I live my life. It is how I see the world to be honest (lol) I have always treasured all the little things you shared with your students...so although your a great teacher--the fact that you were so curious and would verbalize questions to us that you pondered and were just cool! really just a cool person--very humble and down to earth and had a conversational way of teaching and learning. It seemed like a college course. we all got into it and it was fun.
THANK YOU- really thank you. you reached me....and although you may have had tons of students before and after me---you were supposed to know TODAY that you really made a difference in MY life.
hey I still remember "do something" can you help me get involved in that? I know its my first year but I want to be like you ....and really encourage my 4th graders...call me or email me...loooooovee you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --S.V.-

photos of Lynn's pathways through life

Mental Potpourri by Lynn

I just found another pair of Lynn's writings!!! I can't help being excited. Could it be she is sending them to me or me to them? I have hungered for something more she'd left behind all this time. I searched all over her pc after she and our father's funerals, hungry for the few gems that I did find then. I don't know why I never looked so thoroughly through her laptop. Am I wrong? I mean, she had to know there'd at least be the possibility that we'd go through all of her things--including on her computers--and she had plenty of time to get rid of anything she did not want others to find. That's it then! These are her last gifts to us and that's that!


Mental Potpourri


February 4, 2006

The only choices are fear or faith.

I want to rage! “Sike”, no, I don’t…but isn’t that how I should be feeling?

What does it mean that I have no rage, no anger and no sadness about a life which has been wasted? Does it mean that I have lived a good life, filled with love and happiness? Does it mean that I really do believe that the pain or sadness that we experience makes us appreciate the good times? Is life really a roller coaster ride filled with ups and downs…but all of it thrilling? Is my glass always half full and never half empty? Let’s see, what else have I been telling Gia all these years…

Success should be designed by each person for themselves. For me, it has nothing to do with climbing the corporate ladder or making a six figure income. My wealth has always been about love and how much of it I have…creativity and much of it I can use…courage/faith and much of both of those I am willing to use. Climbing the corporate ladder was fun for me, as long as I was climbing to a new position that would entertain me. Making more money allowed me to do things for others or play a little harder. Neither are things that I put on my success page. My success page is filled with the people I’ve loved, the people I’ve helped, the people that I have inspired to be the best that they can be and things which have celebrated or showed off the gifts and talents that God gave me. The most fun & pain that I’ve ever had has been on the projects that I created out of thin air, nothing but a thought or nothing but a feeling that “I think I can”.


February 4, 2006

Have our jobs become our identity? What happens when, what was once the biggest focus of our lives (our jobs) become the smallest fish in our pond…Or that job no longer exists due to illness, retirement or loss of that job. Who are we then?

How are you introduced at a dinner party? What do you say when that dreaded question comes up “So, what do you do?” If you answer truthfully are you dismissed as un-important or un-interesting? What do we put on our business cards? Do we even carry cards anymore?

2 Poems --and then some--by Lynn & I

I just discovered these poems below in Lynn's computer. She wrote them 2/4/06, several months before passing. I'm at our home in NC again for Christmas vacation & my mother just reminded me that we aren't supposed to view the personal contents of anyone's computer--after reading the poems with me. Though she is right, I cannot help but view whatever I can in Lynn's computers. It makes me feel closer to her and I pray that she'll forgive any offense, be grateful that I am allowing her to live on through any part of her legacy I can dig up, and understand that my expressions of love for her through this blog are helping me & hopefully one day others to heal through ways unexplainable even to myself.

The 1st poem reminds me of how much the cancer altered her looks. First, the massive weight loss was a welcoming view for she & I and we spoke of it in the positive light of the cancer taking off the weight that we'd longed to say goodbye to anyway. She had been increasingly overweight for years. Although we'd attributed the much celebrated 40 or so lb. loss from fall 04' to spring 05' to the Adkins diet & a gym membership, it was great to see her so happy to finally fit into whatever she wanted within two months of her 1st chemo treatment. My mother who has also struggled with weight, steadily lost her own weight from being sick with worry the whole time my sister was ill. One fond memory & silver lining from this was when we went shopping one day that July & were all able to fit the same pair of pants for the first and only time. The 3 times I saw Lynn again before then & one yr. later, though the cancer kept doing it's dirty work with dramatic speed on her looks, she was often dressed to kill--and loving every moment of finally being able to look and dress sensually and otherwise however she wanted to again.

But all that materialism & skin-deep appreciation for that ever-changing new suit-for-her-spirit had stopped by the time she was bedridden that next July of 06'. She was such skin and bones by then that she would no longer get on a scale. And though I still deeply tried to believe she would not get worse, flashes of our sister Janet's last months just a decade before, kept coming to mind. Lynn lived in Atlanta then and she had told Janet early on she'd be up here the moment she needed her. So she moved up here and took care of Janet her last couple of months after a days notice at her career as "store manager and event planner" in a major supermarket (Kroger-Savon) the moment Janet let her know she could no longer take care of herself or Amina who was then eight. I was always knee deep in schoolwork even then (though it was nothing compared to now) and I've never gotten over that guilt. Janet's condition at this point still haunted my memory as I looked at Lynn that July of 06' but she still had her upbeat attitude and spirit all the time (even having a party from hospice and seeming so well there that August that they sent her home because she wasn't dying fast enough and they needed her bed for those who were).

But the destruction of Lynn's looks when I got back there shortly after Labor Day were so heartwrenching, that I cannot write of such pain other than to say that I put a pillow in front of her mirror after helping her back to bed following another challenging trip to the bathroom (because she proudly refused to use the wheelchair that hospice had sent her). I did this still hoping to give her hope after helplessly watching her look at the stranger in the mirror in a rare instance of sitting up in that hospital bed sent home to her bedroom--which she hated being relegated to.

Lynn's 2nd poem makes me think of how we often talked of our mutual longing to have children--and her countless attempts to get pregnant--including one hilarious account of dropping Viagra into the drink of her 2nd husband (who she was engaged to before her 1st husband)! It also reminds me that even though her seemingly undying spirit seemed almost gone from early that Sept. until the end (a month and a half later), there were a few moments and days even then when it would come shining through again. And she always made me feel it was because I was there by her side, still fighting for her to stay herself and stay here.


Who’s in the Mirror Today?

Who’s in the mirror today
Is it you so full of life and energy
Or is she back…that stranger, that creature, that other which has your eyes in her head and your secrets in her heart





Stolen Seasons

Babies that are never born
Children die well before dawn

Where is the teenager who loved so much
Where is the young woman with the grace filled touch

Seasons of love
Seasons of happiness
Seasons of ecstasy

I have been loved hard
I have loved hard
My life has been full, every season has been stolen
Every season has been a gift

I don't know why but I now feel a need to do add this, months later:

I went back to work a couple of months following the 3 funerals one week after the other of my sister, father, and father's first cousin Margie who was more like his sister. The two of them had lived part of their lives together as children plus she and her kids came to live with us for a while when I was a baby. Margie had just called me the day after my father died to come get a couple of hundred dollars to help with his funeral. When I called her to announce I'd be stopping by to get it two days later, I found out she'd been rushed to the hospital herself. Before I knew it, as soon as Daddy was laid to rest next to his mother in our family church's graveyard, most relatives rushed from his repasse to the hospital because we'd just gotten a call that Margie had just passed herself. She was buried on the other side of my father. It was already into Nov. by then and I couldn't go right back to work, especially with the holidays right around the corner.

After having had my family medical leave extended (which had begun in the beginning of the school year), I finally went back to work right after the New Year. On Lynn's first birthday after she died (Feb. 13th), I sent my mother, our cousin Gia, and Lynn's best friend Suky flowers before I went to work. At work that day, I wound up in an unpleasant conference over one of my kids who was partially taking out his failing grades on me. He'd always been very warm towards me before this and I found out later that this freshman had been taking care of his dying grandmother for years and was simply at wits end. Because I'd become so paranoid that my mother might lose her last daughter (me), after his threats, I had him removed from my class though I requested both consequences and help for him. We made amends a couple of weeks later and he sincerely apologized but he was still transferred from our school for failing most or all classes for the year although he'd lost his grandmother before the school year was over.

This was just one of many instances where I've never understood how some can treat people who are mourning. Though some support was given in both instances, we were both expected to carry on like our personal lives were just fine before and after these family deaths. I've added this in just to say, please take time to be more caring towards people going through something like this; you never know if it will be you, your loved one, or how you'll react. It's easy to judge when you haven't walked in someone else's shoes. I found out through a friend of his at my school that he seems to be doing alright at his second high school.

Though I've always longed for, yet never had biological children, I've always said I have a lot of children because all children are the sociological children of all adults --since we all influence them and thus help make them who they come to be--the job of parents.

Lynn always loved children and had a flock of sociological kids of her own who were crazy about her as well. Like I did at one point whenever I heard a former neighbor's baby crying, Lynn even spent more time with one of her friend's babys than the mother herself did. Another of her older close friends, Veronica even named her baby after Lynn and so did one of our cousins, Kim. I have two sets of godchildren myself and Lynn had her own godson through her other best friend Deborah. Well, you may think we're crazy but believe it or not, my mother and I now have peace of mind knowing that Lynn finally has a child of her very own. Unknown to most, my mother has always had "deja vu" experiences that were previously in her dreams. On the one year anniversary of Lynn's passing, she had a new experience that she convinced me was real:

Our cousin Judy had taken her to Charleston South Carolina for the weekend and as they left, Judy stated that they were "taking Lynn with them." They saw butterflies all along the hours drive and my mom said they could literally "feel" Lynn's presence. Then, in the midst of that night, when she got up to use the restroom, who do you think appeared in the doorway, grinning at her, before saying "Mommy; I brought someone to meet you" as she pulled a little girl who appeared to be five-- with my eyes and Lynn's bright, bubbly smile-- from behind her. She then asked, "Ariel, do you know who this is?" The girl replied with glee "Grandma!"

And then they were gone. Ariel is the name Lynn had always told my mother she would name her daughter.

Daddy

After being childhood sweethearts and married for 12 years, my parents split up when I was 5...

After he started dying just a few hrs. before Lynn's wake (which he'd insisted on being at, even though he'd be on a stretcher with oxygen), I had to rush from the funeral parlor which we'd only been at for 5 min., viewing Lynn's body for the ceremonies to come, to have my Dad rushed to the hospital due to non-stop seizures his nurse called me to say he'd been having for 20 min. When I left him in the emergency room to rush home and get changed for the wake, I thought he was just snoring because they'd got him under control. I found out two days later, hours before he did die, that he was actually doing then what's called "the dead man's snore (named for a sign of death)." Daddy died of liver cancer on Oct. 22nd, the day after my sister's funeral, at age 68. following is an excerpt from my father's funeral program:

Dallas later moved to Newark, New Jersey where he married his childhood sweetheart Carolyn Simpson Whitley in 1961. Together, the two became a happy family of four with the addition of their daughters the late Lynn Chante Whitley and Deanna Joy Whitley. Dallas was a nurturing and supportive young father who had abundant love for his children. He and his ex-wife Carolyn maintained that together they combined the best of themselves- strength, compassion, creativity, intelligence- when they had their beloved daughters Lynn and Joy.

As a young enterprising entrepreneur, Dallas owned four barber shops before working in other shops across New Jersey. His clients in the shop he owned across the street from his Atlantic City location included notable entertainers such as Marvin Gaye, Sammy Davis Jr., Diana Ross and her group, the Supremes, Joe Tex, and Smokey Robinson. He and Marvin became close friends and Dallas would have traveled on the tour with this famous star had he not been expecting the birth of his youngest daughter, Joy. In the company of such great entertainers, Dallas was also a talented artist who loved to write poetry, sing and play the harmonica. He was a learned man, a great conversationalist, and avid reader who had a special interest in Black History. His photographic memory gave him a keen recall of historical, statistical and geographic facts. He loved mysteries, especially the James Bond series. Dallas will always be known for his comedic wit and ravenous appetite with a penchant for sweets.

Yes; that was my Dad. I wish I had some of his artwork or music to share here which I have such fond memories of, but I haven't seen any of the former since I was young and I haven't been able to find the tape with his harmonica music since before he and Lynn asked to hear it during their last year. I can always find some things until I most need them. If or when I find these, you'll know it via podcast addition! By the way, guess what one of the Christmas gifts I gave myself this year was? A harmonica!

One of my father's closest cousins, who he was partially raised with, was Margie. They developed such a bond that people thought they were siblings. When he passed, Margie called me to come get a couple of hundred dollars to help with his burial. When I called her a couple days later to say I was stopping by to get it and come see her, I discovered later that she hadn't answered because she'd been rushed to the hospital for complications to her own chronic health issues with diabetes. Just as my father was about to be lowered into the ground during his funeral, a cousin's cell phone rang. When she checked to see who'd called her right afterwards, the next thing I knew, most family members went rushing from my father's repasse at the church, to Margie's hospital room. The call had come from the hospital to inform my cousin that Margie had just passed. She was buried right next to my father in our church cemetary; on the other side of my father is my nana, who'd passed just 8 months before them & my sister Lynn.

One of Margie's daughters and I who lives in Maryland, developed a close bond after that. One of Margie's sons, a doctor in Atlanta, announced at her funeral,(the 3rd Saturday in a row that month--after Lynn and Daddy), that he was starting a college scholarship in her name for the children of our hometown. My mother is now the manager of that scholarship fund. Margie's funeral program is in the photo next to those of my father and grandmother above.

Lynn's high school sculpture, college drawings, & other creative juices

My mother and I found these while looking through Lynn's photos shortly after she passed. Needless to say they were an instant tear jerker. She was so creative & talented in so many ways. . .

My sister graduated from a female-only version of an Ivy League school known as Wheaton College in Massachusetts with a degree in Fine Arts--after 1st majoring in interior design. She immediately fulfilled one dream by moving to beautiful Houston, TX for several years where she lived in a few gorgeously decorated apts. within charming apartment complexes while working as a Macy's buyer in the jewelry dept.

Then, after returning home temporarily for just a few months, she moved to the metro area she'd planned to enjoy since childhood; Atlanta, Georgia. While she lived in the cutest apts. there, whether with her 1st husband or alone, we would always love going house shopping whenever I came for a visit. After a few gigs as store mgr. in some large chains, and a couple of adorable houses bought with her 2nd husband (who she'd been engaged to in Houston before marrying her 1st one), she finally added a few dreams within and outside of her career.

Her 1st business creation on the side was the Atlanta Wedding Expo and she then went on to be the 1st executive producer for the annual nationally-televised gospel music awards known as the Stellar Awards which airs in January! While being store manager at a large supermarket, Kroger Savon, in the Atlanta area, she also joined (or started) a community outreach division through which she planned various fascinating events in the store for the public. This was followed by her dream career--despite much lower pay--as community relations mgr. and event planner at the Fairburn, GA Barnes n Nobles bookstore.

I used to often try to convince my family that we should start family businesses of our own, especially a bookstore... Lynn, Janet, my mother, and I all loved event planning and reading. We've always had tons of literature and my mother's library must have naturally turned us into bookworms. We would be in 7th heaven just buried in our own reading materials in the living room together or spending hours in a bookstore. My mom would sometimes have to tear me away from them when we went to a mall... Since people's mouths water while waiting for my mother to finish cooking a meal, our customers would have always been able to feed their faces and minds at the same time. My brother could have had people cracking up for days after hearing his natural comedian wit on "comedy nights" and my sister-in-law's clients could always venture next door into our bookstore instead of waiting their turn in that hair salon she always wanted. My nieces and nephews could have honed and polished even more talents and interests of their own while being "assistant managers..." Isn't it nice to dream???

Anyway, I was thrilled to experience three of the countless events Lynn had organized in Barnes n Nobles during a few visits. I joined in one lively discussion with the Imani Book Club, that she'd founded and coordinated. Another time, I did a poetry reading at a Jam which she raved about later to others, claiming I'd given the best performance. She also excitedly talked my ear off one day about a regular children's storyteller that was performing that night--which I just so happened to miss. Lynn did so well that they promoted her to regional trainer for managers in that position of the store within a 5 state area!

As if that weren't enough, another creation was born once Lynn discovered that her state had the highest illiteraracy rate in the nation. While still doing an an outstanding job wearing all those hats at Barnes n Nobles, my superwoman sister taught herself web design, created her own non-profit organization through self-taught methods, designed the website for it, and made herself executive producer! It was entitled the Atlanta Literary Festival and this magnificent week long festival, which donated the funds to literacy groups in GA, grew larger for three consecutive years until her cancer diagnosis was the end of it in 2005. Her friends gave her the nicknames Pocahontas, Pippi Longstockings (from one of our favorite childhood characters), and "the Brain" (after the cartoon Pinky & the Brain) because she always came up with so many exciting things to do which she got them to go along with & get involved in, including this.

I was finally actually reading Lynn's superbly produced promotional magazine for the festival--which she also created--just a few days ago. I always longed to be there to witness the whole event after she told me of all her great plans, but she wouldn't change it from the 3rd week of my return to work after summer vacation--and I knew my supervisors wouldn't take too kindly to that.

As I get the chance, I will keep adding more of my sister's art here. As you can see, I've already added her huge wall hanging drawings from her beautiful 2nd house in Atlanta and part of its decor (though you can only see two of the three sketches here) and a page from her Literary Festival newsmagazine. Theses drawings now hang in our NC home & the 1 seen below is my favorite art piece that she made.  After that lo-o-ong trip down memory lane, my biggest point is this:

Lynn was just 43 (my current age) when she passed on. I've often heard that graveyards are full of riches... All that wealth from untapped talent, unfulfilled dreams, and other potential... Let's all pray that the rest of us with this gift of life and creative power don't add to that list.

painting #2 aTi summer 08': Shades of Grey

This painting was made on my 2nd day at aTi summer 08' & is a first in 2 ways. Now that I've taken a workshop on photographing art,    you see a better photo of this 1st "attempt" at abstract painting than the original one posted here.

This is also the 1st one I made to fill a request.  My hairstylist, asked me to paint something for the white room in a new property he'd just purchased & remodeled beautifully for various parties. He also told me I could host an art show in it; giving me my 2nd confirmation that I could actually use this talent for income! (I've had at least 5 other requests since, plus the 1st, from a manager in a nursing home near aTi.)

Since I had no idea of how to make an all white painting to match the all-white-things in this fabulous all-white-room, he allowed me to use these colors. Actually, I chose the title I did & the colors of black, white, & grey as sort of a tribute to he and his White wife since they are an interracial couple with children.

It could also be seen as my acknowledgment of wise words from one of my former students during my 1st year of teaching. I'd had a double-major in college of Africana Studies & Sociology & though my focus in courses within the latter major had been on all types of oppressed groups within the U.S., & I teach in a very diverse school, I felt so enlightened & enthralled by learning of my own heritage, and upset that I had learned so little of it prior to college, that my teaching of history was originally a bit imbalanced by it,especially while I was a substitute teacher & during this first year. So 1 day, this sweet, outspoken Portuguese freshman student named S. Pastor raised her hand to say something to the effect of, "Miss ______, I'm tired of learning about what Whites did to Blacks (in this world history course). The world is not black & white; there are shades of grey!"

S.P. mentioned in her farewell card to me (when she was about to graduate as valedictorian), that she hoped I'd learned as much from her as she had from me. She couldn't have put it any better. Miss Pastor had become a Mrs. when she last reached out to me by paying me a lovely visit in my classroom several years later. She had recently married herself; and though I had assumed it was to an African-American, I learned otherwise many years later.

The circle is a very significant symbol in traditional Afrikan culture (which I learned has no "c" in its languages that is not followed by an "h"; thus, my spelling above of "Africa"). There is no beginning and no end to the 360 degrees in them and one Afrikan proverbs says "Let the circle be unbroken." This is an expression of desired unity; a hope for harmony with others. One of my deepest hopes is that racism be destroyed; not only through relatively superficial means such as bonds of friendship and love that can occur between any human beings, but through a deep re-education and enlightenment about contributions & challenges of all racial and ethnic groups, as well as a thorough knowledge of the good, bad, & ugly that exists in all living things and cultural groups, thus making us one. The circles in this painting symbolize that enlightenment which I dream of for the world and the rectangular strips signify the pathways which can lead us there.

Omar requested a twin of this painting when I finally showed it to him a few months ago. Once I finish them, he will then hang them side by side in his all white room-- which is near his all black room--and everyone who views it will see shades of grey...

One beloved artistic student

The following former student from the c/o 2000, who I wrote the letter of recommendation for grad school for below, was the third person who offered to buy some of my art work! She visited me in my class one day last year and saw my first 3 paintings. After receiving the following letter this Fall, she also asked me to paint something surprising and cheerful for the new apt. she planned to move into soon after. That's also her in the middle of the trio of photos from classes I had many years ago.

Remember, the footer (at the end) is my attempt at going incognito here since this website is public. Read on!



October 1, 2008
Rutgers, The State University of NJ
Office of Graduate & Professional Admissions
(other contents of addresses deleted for this blog publication)

To whom it may concern:

There are some students that a teacher never forgets. K. Berryman, one such student indeed, receives my recommendation for your program without the slightest hesitation. She is an absolutely outstanding human being who is just as wonderful in personality as in the role of a top student within my world history class during 1996-97’. This student is a tremendously gifted writer and has excellent higher level thinking skills.

Her creativity and enthusiasm for learning was demonstrated numerous ways both in and out of our class. We actually met at William Paterson University where she was an outstanding student during the summer prior to her freshman year at the highly acclaimed W.E.B. DuBois Leadership Institute where I was an adjunct professor and residence coordinator for a month. Later at ____ High, while I was advisor for our school newspaper staff, she contributed articles and even started her own “Dear Leena” column, giving wise advice to her peers. In addition to this, she was a talented poet and song writer. K. took her education very seriously, always added liveliness to our class discussions, and went above and beyond expectations with her work.

This lovely young lady still maintains a vibrant, bubbly demeanor and that awesome originality. We run into each other in the neighborhood and otherwise communicate now and then due to her current role with the education-centered Abbott Leadership Institute and our fond memories. I never cease to be impressed with her spirit and dedication to her work. Last year, I had the distinct honor and pleasure of being invited to her 25th birthday party and was quite impressed with her “Berryman Awards” theme for it which was incorporated throughout the affair. After putting on a star performance with her acting, dancing, and lip syncing skills in the spotlight, she proceeded to award various guests who gave impromptu performances of their own. (I was even nominated for something!)

Your graduate program will be forever enhanced by Ms. Berryman’s presence. Some of you will find like I, that although many fuzzy names and faces have come and gone over the years, she is one who will forever leave a cherished imprint in the memory of those she comes in contact with.


Sincerely,


Ms. D J
_____ High School teacher

The written word: There, Over the Rainbow

I'm going home tomorrow--to my rural hometown in N.C. that is!!! Whoever came up with the line "There's no place like home" described my feelings exactly. Both sides of my family are from there & my great grandparents and beyond all grew up there and it was the site of my entire childhood summers, just like my mothers.

When she was a child, she grew up in NY and NJ but helped my grandfather and his brothers build our house down there one summer. From then on, it was their vacation home until my grandfather retired and my grandparents and Uncle Donny (who's my cousin by blood but adopted by my grandparents, making him my uncle, although he's a year younger than me and more like my brother through age and love) then moved down there. My immediate family and I had been living with my grandparents for a year until that time, when I was about three, after I'd spent my first year in Atlantic City and the next two in our NC home. Once Grandpa and Grandma moved,we too then moved out of the two family home once shared with them and another family up here and into a different two family nearby.

Most people in our community down south are my extended relatives from different lineages, a tradition carried over from traditional African cultures. I've continued to go there one to three times p/year throughout adulthood. As soon as my mother retired, she had moved into our home there within a month. She started remodeling and creating her own gardens right away and you can see here some photos of the many upgrades she has made (including one showing my niece Amina (Janet's daughter)and her best friend having an art auction of their work in our yard when they were around 12. Lynn, my mother, and I were vying for the treasured pieces. :) There's another one showing Lynn, Amina, and our other nieces and nephews (Donny's kids) playing and lying together on pillows on our living room rug, after telling spooky stories to each other.

On Saturday, I'll be in my oldest friend's 2nd wedding down there.  I'll post the pictures below after her wedding.  We've been close since I was age 5 and she, 6.  Her parents are still amongst our closest neighbors there.  Her sister, who Lynn was very close to, married one of my paternal cousins.  Her brother was Lynn's childhood sweetheart  from the time we were little kids until he passed during a pool accident when he and Lynn were just 21.  He and Lynn always planned to marry and he'd recently moved to Atlanta because that is where she knew she wanted to live after college.  I know he and Lynn are finally together again, living happily ever after on another plane...

 I wish I could just go home to stay and once I retire myself, I'm so there! A few days after our father's funeral on 10/22/06, (He died the day after my sister Lynn's funeral-- after almost dying a few hours before her wake), I began writing 2 pieces about Lynn & our home downsouth which we've all always cherished. Here is one of them:

RAINBOW'S END & LYNN

There’s a reason we call our home here in N.C. “Rainbow’s End…”

It’s not only the abundant bounty of nature that instills everyone who steps foot on our land with an indescribable peace or the endless beauty, creativity, warmth, & coziness that envelopes u as soon as u walk up the steps & pass through the threshold. It’s this pot of gold called love & joy that are the ties which bind not only the blood of this household but the extended family & friends who’ve become family & also feel at home once they arrive here. Lynn Chante Whitley has always been one of the greatest treasures in this pot.
Although we feel that a part of ourselves is missing, we know she now lives on in spirit & amongst the butterflies still fluttering about in our gardens when they should have been long gone by this time of year. And when we replace her & my other sister Janet’s favorite flowers, the sunflowers, that Lynn planted in her 1st & only garden here last spring (& our beloved grandparents planted here many moons before), we’ll not only remember the precious memories of her undying spirit, love of life, & what seemed to be her last yet unforgettable event, that precious farewell ceremony with all its magical balloon, dove, bonfire, dancing, twinkling eyes following us everywhere, & butterfly moments, we’ll also remember to treasure all who made this transitional time so much easier. We are eternally grateful for the treasure that is you & we hope you, too, will treasure all of your loved ones while you still have them & the beauties of nature like Lynn did.

Join me if you will, & think of her each time you go to the beach or see yellow butterflies & if the spirit moves you, try planting/giving sunflowers to those you treasure in her memory so that they, too, may bask in the sunshine that these beauties, like she, will forever emit through wonderful memories. Just as the butterfly has undergone life transitions from egg to caterpillar to pupa …before reaching its fullest potential, we know Lynn has gone through the cycles of life from an embryo to a fetus, a babe to a child, and an adult to… a spirit in that special place where she’s been given her wings.

She’s flying amongst & above all whose lives she touched with the nectar of her sweetness & who continue to keep her alive in the sasa by speaking her name. Wherever we are, there is she; waiting until the day we’ll be able to fly beside her & our other loved ones in our heavenly home…at the other end of the rainbow.

Lynn's invitation for a sisterhood-girlfriend's retreat

My sister Lynn was full of creativity & often planning something exciting for friends or family to do with her. I've included photos here of a couple of such occasions. The first one is from her Atlanta Literary Festival which she got all of her friends and many others to help her with. Then there are 2 from our childhood in our 4th home at the time, which reminds me of some of the wacky games and creative things she'd come up with for us to entertain ourselves as children--such as turning our bedroom into a campground using blankets to create makeshift tents. One shows Lynn and our youngest niece at Disneyworld, the 2nd trip she planned and carried through after her diagnosis. She treated Donny, his wife, their two sons and two daughters, and I on this trip that she'd actually wanted us all to go on for years. Another photo shows our oldest niece  holding our youngest niece on a trip Lynn took all of our nieces and nephews and I on, to Myrtle Beach in South Carolina.

I found the letter below on her computer a few days after our father's funeral, a week and a half after she passed. Then I was moved to write the attached piece which I'm really hoping you will click on to enlarge and read first (and please excuse the typos on it; I discovered after the fact that it was printed on an earlier, rather than final, draft--for all you other teachers out there)!


Dear Family,

Join us for a wonderful week (or long weekend) on the beautiful North Carolina coast at a beautiful ocean front cottage aptly named “Surviving Stress.” The date has finally been set – Saturday, October 15 through the following Friday, October 21st. Surviving Stress is located in Caswell Beach on Oak Island approximately half an hour from Wilmington. The house itself is breathtakingly beautiful with three levels, an elevator, and a gourmet kitchen that will have us all grabbing the pots; four oceanfront decks facing the Atlantic fully equipped with hammocks, swings and rocking chairs; six beautiful bedrooms and 3.5 baths; there’s a fireplace in the main floor living room; a den on the 2nd floor balcony. The house comes complete with multiple cable televisions, VCR, DVD with surround sound, CD player etc. Bring your favorite music and movies! There’s also a fully stocked game cabinet, so get ready for bid whist, spades, bingo or whatever! A short walk right off the back deck connects to a private boardwalk across the dune to the beach and ocean. The house is spacious enough for everyone to find a quiet spot to read or quietly enjoy the ocean views. Painters bring your sketch pad or portable easel, writers that special pen and lots of paper……you will be inspired by the sisterhood and the beautiful setting. Note to the gamblers: The casino boat leaves from Little River twice a day. It’s about thirty minutes from where we will be staying. Note to the shoppers: The outlet centers at Myrtle Beach are half-an-hour away so bring those charge cards if that’s what you like to do! I know we will see you there…just imagine watching the sun rise on the ocean! You can’t resist. We love you and hope you can share this very special time with us. COST: The cost is the same for the weekend or the full week….$300. This covers the rental, linen service and maid service at the end of our stay. We will share the cost of food.

Love,
Lynn

I also wrote about this unbelievable experience afterwards in the piece that I've submitted here. Although we all have yet to go back to this breathtaking place, you can find it yourself online at www.survivingstress.com Maybe you'll get that much needed R&R there that we have yet to take advantage of!

7/10/07 poem: I am a Wavebird

Artist/Teacher Institute
Playwrighting Workshop

Assignment II: After closing your eyes and scribbling for 7 seconds, circle an object in your scribble and write a script about it within a couple of minutes.



I AM a WAVEBIRD

I am a wavebird
Yes, that’s what I said thank you!
I am a bird that floats on the waves
…AND soars through the skies.
I have no limitations!
I am free and you cannot catch me.

Come from below, I’ll rise to the clouds.
Come from above, I can dive beneath the surface of the sea.
I repeat; YOU CANNOT CATCH ME! I AM FREE!

I bask in the sun.
I paddle with my partner for fun.
I don’t need a lighthouse.
I stay in the sunshine & let my own light shine.

THE END


Note: O.k. so I’ve written poetry in my past; never before tried to be a playwright – but I loved this activity & the resultant poem! :)

7/9/07 poem: Just What the Dr. Called For

Artist/Teacher Institute 7/9/07 Day 1
Playwrighting workshop: minor (followed major in oil painting & lunch)
1st assignment: Write about whatever you’re feeling.


Just What the Dr. Called For

Finally! I’m doing it --- again
sharing the essence of me that is
using my talents…again
having fun…again
living…again
its been a long time coming (I know )

Why have I put this off for so long?
as if turning from 15 to 41 wouldn’t happen so fast it makes my head spin.
did I forget how good it feels?
it’s like running barefoot through the sand on a bright sunny day.
its like floating in the Caribbean’s clear-yet-aqua-blue waters
…while its warmth embraces you
its like… its like…being free!!!

yesterday is long gone
tomorrow is not promised
today I’m a painter & writer -- again!

1st painting -- July 2007: The Deeper Blue Sea

This painting was made in about 5 hours during my 1st 2 days at aTi. The teacher told us not to do anything else with our 1st painting after the 1st 2 days, much to my dismay. It was based on 3 photos: the beach, the trees, and a rainbow-filled sky.

Everyone in the class was really experienced except 2 of the 15 or so of us. They were all quite impressed that I used more than 1 photo as my painting inspiration.

I've always loved rainbows and beautiful blue skies, most of which I've only seen in my hometown in North Carolina. My mother named our family home down there "Rainbow's End" when she retired and moved into it and I wrote a piece called "Rainbow's End & Lynn" after my sister Lynn went on to her next life. Most of this painting subject was selected in memory of her, the only person I know who loved the beach and water as much as I always have and who also gained a special love of the Caribbean Sea as I had.

A week after her cancer diagnosis, the doctor gave her 5 months to live. She told him she wasn't going that soon, she had too many things to do, and began making plans for all the great vacations she'd always wanted to take. Now the only thing good about a physician giving you a deadline for the rest of your life is one's ability to get an advance on much of their life insurance if s/he says your time is up within 1 year. She used hers to fulfill some of my mother's lifelong dreams for a remodeled house and the rest went towards these trips and enough to bury her and my father--who she was running to see and bring to doctor's appointments after his own cancer diagnosis-- 3 months before hers...

On the 1st trip, she treated her 2 best friends, favorite cousin, and I to Jamaica with her. I left at about 4 a.m. to meet them there & nevermind the fact that I was running so late I was already afraid of missing my plane (as usual during these last several years), I actually had to return home once arriving at the airport & realizing I'd forgotten my i.d.!!! Lynn called me en route in the speeding cab & sheer terror from hearing her mouth prevented me from answering the phone. After finally getting the nerve to ditch the very long ticket line & running to the booth only to be told I was too late, I began tearing up as I told them I just had to get on that plane b/c I was going to Jamaica!!! One of the reservationists finally told me I'd better run & run I did--all the way to the gates! I was so out of shape & breath I almost collapsed as I arrived at the plane only to hear the intercom saying "Last call for passenger DeAnna Whitley..." It took off the moment I sat down! (The silver lining was that one of her best friends & I got a $400 travel voucher for giving up our seats on the connecting flight and arriving in Jamaica just a few hrs. later than planned).

Anyway, Lynn planned it so that we all arrived there on the exact date the doctor had "forecast" as her last. It was my 1st time seeing her since that July of 2005, a month and a half after her chemo treatments had begun and I wanted to cry at 1st glance when I saw how she had lost an even more tremendous amount of weight since July and the cancer was affecting her looks even more but that thought was quickly brushed aside once she saw me and flashed that big, bright, bubbly smile that she had and I saw the twinkle in her eyes from the sheer excitement of being there. I realized more than ever that we were there to celebrate her life and she wanted no signs of sadness. So instead, we all had a ball in Jamaica, the one foreign country she had ever visited and fallen in love with (This was her 4th and last trip there in a 2 year period)! You can see the fabulous time we had when clicking on the photos above to enlarge them.

I included 1 photo of Lynn & I in Ft. Lauderdale on a business trip through the only network marketing company I'd convinced her to join along with me. It was a total coincidence that we dressed alike on that day for the business conference! Later that night, we met another guest who had come to the hotel with friends on this yacht that was docked there and he invited us to join them on it for drinks and so we could share our business opportunity with them. I used to go to Battery Park City in NYC every summer after my sister Janet had introduced me to it--partially because of how much I enjoyed viewing the beautiful yachts docked there and dreaming about one day having my own through some business and financial planning...until the World Trade Center attacks. Needless to say, Lynn & I loved being on this yacht in Florida and we made a pledge to each other while on board that we would be there the next year on our own yacht through the building of our business together. That was in March 04'...

When this painting is done, it will be a collage of sorts, and a gift for all of us who went on this momentous vacation. I named it "The Deeper Blue Sea" because Lynn became hilariously obsessed with shark movies during her last few years (Jaws became her bedtime ritual movie--and she kept it on replay all night) and the last movie we watched completely together was "The Deep Blue Sea" before she passed on.

(By the way, had Lynn lived 1 more month, it would have been exactly one and a half years after her diagnosis. 20 more days and it would have been the one year anniversary of our trip to Jamaica. The morning before she died on Oct. 15th, she told our mother that if it weren't for the cancer, her last year would have been her best. She faced her death like the bravest hero in a lion's pit ever could and put her life in God's hands. If you'd like to know how, I'll be adding posts on that too for those of you who may want to pass on some of her moving philosophy to others in the same boat. Below is just a sample note found recently that she'd emailed us long with a great photo from our trip to Jamaice (that I've so far been unsucessful at copying and pasting or uploading here from shutterfly, the company she sent it through).




Pictures from Chante Whitley




It's amazing even though the doctors said I'd be gone by now...God
had/has other plans for me. Thank you all for all your prayers for I
truly believe that God has heard them and is working a wonderful
healing on me because of them!

So here I am in Jamaica celebrating life, with the four "baby-sitters"
who were determined that I was not going to travel anywhere without
them watching over me.

I love you all! God Bless You!
Love, Hugs & Kisses
Lynn "Chante"

3rd Painting July 2007: The Ties That Bind

This will be my best Mother's Day gift when completed. (My mother says I never could keep a secret). It is a painting of my mother, 2 sisters (Lynn & Janet), and I which was juxtaposed from 3 photos of us. One, was a special one of Janet; the 2nd, a photo of Lynn & I hugging in Jamaica; and the last was Lynn hugging my mother.

I chose this subject because we have no photos of all of us together except for a couple. (One was from Janet's wedding at the United Nations' Chapel, the same location as her funeral, because she wanted such momentous occasions located at the greatest symbol for world peace).

The 1st photo here shows the last photo taken with the closest female relatives I've ever had that were here in NJ at the time. My grandmother, mother, Lynn, Janet, Janet's daughter Amina (age 8 at the time), and I, all together for mother's day 1996, just a couple of months before Janet passed. Lynn tried to persuade me to come take professional photos with she & our mother for mother's day in 2005 but I was too busy with schoolwork & didn't feel I had enough money since I was already coming for Memorial Day & part of the summer, so we agreed that they would take more when I got there. Then, a week after she persuaded my mom to take some of the best photos they had ever taken anyway in the meantime, Lynn went and received her cancer diagnosis.

We never took the professional photos of the 3 of us and we also only have one unprofessional one of that sort. So Mommy, "this one's for you Babe." (My hands that are visible here have already been fixed and when it's finished, it'll "really" look like it's all of us--for real :) ) Like the others seen here, you can click on any part of the photos/painting to enlarge them.

My favorite photos of Lynn & Janet were used for their funeral programs shown here, including one of those taken that Mother's Day of Lynn.

2nd Painting July 2007-Sunflower Sunset

This was my 2nd painting made July 07' in 2 or 3 days. It was copied from approximately 7 different photos put together.

I've always loved beautiful sunsets, butterflies, and flowers, but this one was more inspired by the love of 3 special women...

My grandmother told me she once had a field of sunflowers and I often wondered what that looked like until I found a calendar of sunflowers shortly after my sister Lynn passed. It included not only a field but many other beautiful shots of a wide variety of sunflowers. It was perfect timing because sunflowers were Lynn's favorite flowers and they also have reminded us of our sister Janet ever since she planted a huge one in front of her condo before her residence association made her take it down. At numerous special family events after Janet died 12 years ago, I'd give my mother/Lynn sunflowers to remind them that Janet was still with us in spirit.

One of the calendar photos had this beautiful shot of a butterfly on a sunflower so I had to use that one. Our cousin Judy said Lynn flew to her as a butterfly and stayed on her shoulder for a while before flying off shortly after she died. Then, our niece and sister-in-law told us that Lynn also flew to them as a butterfly which landed on Lynn's funeral program as they walked to her burial site following the funeral. Butterflies have reminded us of Lynn ever since.

I included a cardinal because it is not only one of the 1st of over 24 types of birds attracted to my yard when I began feeding them shortly after moving into my house, it's one of the most beautiful ones whose calls I instantly recognize.

The coreopsis flowers in the bottom of the photo I painted with the cardinal also took on a special meaning since I noticed on the 2nd day of painting that they were growing right outside of the aTi building and the art teacher told me they attracted butterflies. Of course I went and bought some to plant in my yard by the end of the program as a result. Don't ask me why they haven't been planted yet--along with more than half the other flowers, hedges, and trees I've bought since moving here 5 years ago.

aTi Summer Exhibit 8/9-18/08

I'm going to have 2 of my paintings made this summer displayed at the "Artist/Teacher Institute: Summer 2008 Exhibition" in NYC--and the photos will be added here afterwards!!! This will be the 2nd art gallery I'm a part of! The 1st one, seen here, was in Nov. at Columbia High School's art gallery in South Orange/Maplewood. I've also included the inspiration for my favorite painting made this summer, Sister Butterfly (although this photo does not do it justice). I'll be in another art exhibit in September & will let you all know the details ASAP.

August 9- August 18, 2008
Arts Horizons
LeRoy Neiman Art Center
2785 Frederick Douglas Blvd.
(near West 148th St.)
New York, NY 10039

Gallery hours are Mon.-Sat. 10-5
Reception: Sat. Aug. 9, 2008 12-2

contact: clayton@artshorizons.org
(917)817-2957



The following is my profile which will be featured beside my 2 paintings:


ABOUT the PAINTER

______ teaches history at ___ High—where she, her sisters, and mother once majored in art. After losing her father, last grandparent, and last sister to cancer in 06’, aTi became her art therapy. Her first time painting since age 15, she has since made 8 paintings, a dream on the back burner for 26 years.

Dee painted her sister Lynn with butterfly wings in Sister Butterfly because Lynn flew to 3 relatives as this beautiful insect. A cousin reported Lynn visiting her as a butterfly shortly after passing by staying on her shoulder a spell before flying off. Next, she stayed a while on her own funeral program as their niece and sister and law walked to her burial.

Meadow Medley, was made in three hours. A naturalist at heart, put Dee amongst trees and flowers, and watch her exhale. She hopes you will feel the peace that a meadow exudes yourself.

For further info. about this artist and her aTi experience, go to www.djwhitley.blogspot.com

aTi 7/7/08 creative movement workshop minor

This workshop was captivating from start to finish! The way the teacher, Candace K. taught, it was extremely unique & contrasted from any "dance' lessons I'd ever had. Instead of a top-down approach, it was very student-centered & I felt this every day. She added her own original touch to everything, giving us journals to write in; cameras for our growth process and pictures of wht "moved" us; having us create a wall mural acronym of our names, drawing a chalk picture to go with it, along with a collage of what "moved" us...Candace just did a phenomenol job of drawing the creativity out of all of us in her class, giving each of us equal attention in turn.

teacher's journal questions:
(Q):What is creative movement?
(my A): moving your body in any choreographed way to a silent or
audible beat which can also be used to tell a story

(Q): How do you feel while doing it?
(my A): When I move, I feel exhiliarated, free, & in control. I feel sexy, alive, & in
tune with my spirit.

When I asked Candace why the course was not just called "dance," she gave a great explanation. It was something to the effect of: the word dance has certain connotations & expectations; it's more rigid & less organic; scaring people off who didn't feel they could do it...

In hindsight, I must add to my 2nd answer above: I feel "JOYFUL" while expressing creative movement!

We did warm ups to very beautiful, soothing, and out of the box music as our teacher made statements of this sort: "Close your eyes & sway like the wind," "Reach up & grab the sun," "Bring your arms down & grab a part of the earth..." (She really touched the naturalist in me [a very big part of who I am]).

Then, on this 1st day, one after another, she had each of us, say "No" through movement. Each student's physical expression of that word became the next step in a wonderful impromptu dance routine that we were then creating. She added a step last and then had each of us add another step and so on to what could have gone on to Alvin Ailey if you ask me. She said we were all so good at it, we made her job very easy unlike many prior students. How cool is that?

Reflections: Dancing was once my life. I took dance lessons in ballet, jazz, & tap for 7 years during primary & secondary school and I was also in the dance ensemble at the latter. Until I graduated from college, throughout my life, I often danced around the house to R&B or club music on the radio or some tape (even while doing chores) & I constantly choreographed solo, duo, or group dances in my head to music I loved. I won 1st runner up for a choreographed dance at a talent contest in my 2nd high school (Science High) and the same at a dance contest in the Bahamas. This also brings to mind a poem I wrote during the 1st semester my freshman year of college when I was dancing at at least 1 party between Thursday & Saturday each week. It's called "Dancing Is Me" (& when I find it, I'll share it...)

During the summer before graduating college, I made the bulk of a business plan to start my own dance school but that dream was put on a back burner along with the rest of my talent-related dreams once my career began. Other than taking a few African dance lessons at a school during one year in my late 20s, this aTi minor is my 1st time actively practicing some semblence of formal creative movement since graduating high school.

We have performances & exhibits for friends, family, & special guests the entire last day at aTi. Not only did I receive great compliments on my choreographed dance each day once we started preparing for it, I was also told by various ones that I kept getting better each rehearsal. One of the aTi students from the drama workshop told me that the ending production put on by members of our workshop that summer was by far the best one he'd ever seen and he and a number of others raved about how good I was. On top of that, one of my creative movement classmates was so impressed with my final performance, she asked if I was trying to audition for Alvin Ailey!

Since I started taking my painting dream off the shelf in summer 07' & dusting it off thanks to aTi, who knows; maybe I'll start looking into my own dance school stuff again too at some point! One of the dance teachers at my school has her own, the French teacher has a beautiful, upscale restaurant, an art teacher owns his own horse training ranch, and a TV production teacher at my school has his own production company... Given the time, I will be doing something about my own entrepreneurial aspirations. So stay posted!